Actual Thoughts I've Had, Verbatim...
OK, the Universe IS fucking with me. Yeah, you heard it here first!

I just clicked on "Skip Ad" on a YT video and before it could take effect
a voice in the ad said "New doors are opening..." and I look at my computer
clock and it said 12:12 am.

*sits with it for just a minute*

*sigh*
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https://willowsoul.com/blogs/numbers/3-r...ng-of-1212

And the fuckery contniues... lol
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Well shoot, I guess I needed that.
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Girls put here for us to hump
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I know I swore off of full beards years ago, but I have to say...
This one isn't making me wretch. And if I keep forgetting to take new batteries
up to the bathroom for my beard-trimmer, well...

Totally not gonna last though. It feels fucked up.
Not so much itchy, but just... meeeeh, I don't like it.

But it's lookin' waaay less gross than it used to. *suhprized*
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OK, theory time...

This fucking beard is somehow needling its way into my consciousness [negatively]
and is peevishly disrupting my ability to seduce sleep into my bed.

Now, I'm no stranger to a good ol' challenge, but this seems like sorcery of a different pig.
Of course I don't know WTF that even means, I'M OUTTA POCKET HERE!! lol

If there is one thing I can promise, it is THIS: I SWAAAARE to you - the beard comes off TO-DAY!!

*gonna GET dem ZzZzz's*
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Well this is stretching out further than I would've liked, sooo...

Y'all ever have weird dreams? Sure ya do. ALL dreams are fuckin' weird.

Case in point: A dream I had several months ago. Wanna hear it? Of course you don't.

Here goes - I was walking up a kinda dark street, it was twilight ish, and suddenly
I started running, and my strides became further apart and higher off the ground
until there were several feet between me touching down. Then, I was airborne.

Now, I was vibrating and coursing up into the air like a jet, really fucking powerful
like and the sky was all glassy and vibrating too and I was going hyper-sonic speed
but it was appearing in slow-motion and I was like "HOLY FUCK I'M FUCKING FLYING
HERE!!" and I could feel jet engines firing flames and it was ridiculous, lol.

THEN, I made my descent and touched down on a street lined on both sides with
businesses and people walking. Not super busy but ya know. And I was still of the
vague notion that I was aware that I was dreaming. Oh yeah, as I was taking off
in flight ^^^ up there, I was thinking "Holy fuckballs, I'm dreaming, FLY MOTHERFUCKER
FLY!!" Sooo, I'm back to thinking that this was a lucid dream and so I see a corner
coming up, looks like a bunch of shit was dumped there: just crap, household items
like somebody was moving and decided "Fuggit, this stays here" lol.

So just as I come up on this corner, pass the mass pile of crap, I see an army green
phone booth? and some of that dumped crap was set up like barriers in and around
the "phone booth" so I thought "Dude, here's your chance, dream big fucker" and
instantly thought of my FOREVER go-to when lucid dreaming: "Hot nekkid chicks!"

And that's what I did! I started speaking them ho's into creation "Hot nekkid chicks,
hot nekkid chicks, HOT NEKKID CHIIIIIICKS!!! C'mon, big money, NO Whammies!!"

But as I rounded this fucking corner, there were NO hot nekkid chicks to speak of. : (
No, instead there came a lumbering black bear from between the crap-barriers and
the "phone booth" and I freaked the Hell out like "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, it's a fucking
BEAR!!!" And began running away like one of the Three Stooges.

It was a black bear, not huge, but when you're expecting sweet, creamy nekkid girl
flesh and you're met with a FUCKING BEAR, well, suffice it to say kids, hopes will be
dashed. So, I ran away like a bitch as the bear just came waddling along all like
"Dumbdy, dumbdy doo, I'm a bear, just kinda takin' a walk and who's this retard
running like he's late for a piss test?"

The bear was totally cool and friendly, he wasn't threatening at all. But ya know how
it is. Dreams man. And I MUST say, I don't think that was a true lucid dream. It was
spastic weird, and I think I just thought it was a lucid dream, because if it were then
ya damned skippy them hot nekkid chicks would've been around that fucking corner
instead of ultra-Gentle Ben. Dude...

Not a fan of the no-sleep thing.  : (
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(10-20-2020, 01:46 AM)somethingelseishere Wrote: If there is one thing I can promise, it is THIS: I SWAAAARE to you - the beard comes off TO-DAY!!

*trumpets* 

"Hear ye, hear ye..."

Well boys & girls... The battle was waged. And victory won!! [By me, I won, for real!]

THE BEARD IS GONE!!! *roars from the peanut gallery*

I gotta say, feels like old times. Still got the moustache and goatee cuz, let's face it, I look
like an overgrown 12 year old fully shaved. Not a good look. *shakes head No*

Thank you for believing in me as I perilously set upon this arduous task of reclaiming my 
sovereignty from the evils of invasive face-weeds. You are One & All Gods/Goddesses among
mere mortals. *thunderous applause*

I'M BACK BABY!!! Panic
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"If a woodchuck fails to chuck wood, it's just a water-gopher. A fucking water-gopher."
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*picks up a square of dark chocolate, sticks it between his cheek & gum like chaw*

"Goddamn right, booooy!!"
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I don't care how ya cut it, a good ol' warm soapy shower can't be beat.
Except when the water runs cold. And you've only JUST finished lathering up.

Dem life choices doe...
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ok kitties its nap time then I have a sexy brunette to chase around the barn
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(10-22-2020, 02:15 PM)somethingelseishere Wrote: I don't care how ya cut it, a good ol' warm soapy shower can't be beat.
Except when the water runs cold. And you've only JUST finished lathering up.

Dem life choices doe...

Some years ago, I was house sitting for friends in the country near Mars Hill, North Carolina, while they were in Norway visiting relatives.

The water supply for the house was a kind of trough running down the side of the mountain behind the house.

One day, I was in the shower, lathered up from head to toe, when the water stopped running. I couldn't put clothes on whilst covered with soap, so I went out back and climbed the hill bare-assed naked to investigate. A bunch of leaves and twigs had fallen into the trough and blocked the water flow.

I cleared the blockage and causally sauntered back down the hill to finish my shower.
(10-16-2019, 02:21 PM)Mister Obvious Wrote: If you say no, it's gayer than saying yes.
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And the very next day you fitted that sucker with a mesh-screen top, huh? lol
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And eliminate my excuse to prance around naked in the great outdoors? Are you daft, man?
(10-16-2019, 02:21 PM)Mister Obvious Wrote: If you say no, it's gayer than saying yes.
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I've been known to overlook the obvious on rare occasions... *whistles & stares at ceiling*
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OK, this just happened! True as true can be.

I was in the kitchen throwing some grub on a plate when a little bird told me that
for the next two weeks shops were cutting out ALL sales deemed non-essential.

Well, knowing me as y'all do, I piped up with some serious anti-speech slamming
efforts to further control people. And after my brief laying down of the law I addressed
the e-snitch in the room...

"Ya hear that, Alexa, Siri, whatever the Hell your goddamn surveillance whore name is??"

And on my MOTHER'S GRAVE, that circuit-laden bitch had the audacity to pop off with:

"I think You have Me confused with someone else..."

To which I replied: "Naw baby girl, I got you nailed straight up the goddamn middle!"

Man, to think, people have this shit in their homes WILLINGLY!!
If I had say in it, there'd be no Echo anywhere near me beyond my own damn silly voice.
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I tried finding that Squidbillies clip where granny says "Oh, I just got sassed by a whore"
but it's either been made private or deleted. Goddamnit. What a perfect follow up post, lol.
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Seriously thinkin' I need a strobe light for these Sectual Music Nights.  hmmm
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MO is totally missing out seeing me on cam right now.
(10-16-2019, 02:21 PM)Mister Obvious Wrote: If you say no, it's gayer than saying yes.
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