Actual Thoughts I've Had, Verbatim...

[Guest]

They got chapstick so why not buttstick

[Mister Obvious]

"Be the douchebag you want to see in the world."

[somethingelseishere]

"You sunk my battleship!!" - Moments ago when putting a tater chip into my mouth.

[somethingelseishere]

"Internet trolling is the new crank calling." - Thanks a lot, fuckin' caller-ID! *disgruntled*

[Guest]

I wonder if movie starlets, models, porn stars and all the ladies with fetching bums use bidets or old wet rags like mo or just tissue paper like commoner s

[Mister Obvious]

"Look at this slut!"

[Mister Obvious]

*opens package of 4 new pillowcases, squeals in delight*

"This is my fucking love language."

[Mister Obvious]

*to malfunctioning TV, in Valley Girl voice*

"STOP FAHKEEN MEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[somethingelseishere]

"I wonder how many pancakes would fit into a swimming pool?"

[somethingelseishere]

"I wonder how much pancake syrup would fit into a swimming pool?"

[Guest]

Me and my dog are going to heaven
I dont think the rest of you fuckers will be accepted in

[Mister Obvious]

"Holy shit, it's an empty Dollar Store bag!!! SCORE!!!"

[Mister Obvious]

(I like them because they're yellow.)

[Atma]

(I like them because they're yellow.)

(Uses psychic power to hone in on what this means...)

Ping... ping... ping...

PING.

Amazon.com: Women's Tassels Bowknot Ribbons Sexy Lace Thongs Panties Adjustable G-String Underwear (Yellow): Clothing

[Atma]

(I like them because they're yellow.)

Oh god, you were referencing the dollar store bag as an afterthought. 

"ping"... (pacman death knell)

[Guest]

Mo if you were a young hellen kellar and you was behavin like an animal i would just feed you tacos and prolly spank you daily till you learned better and lots of groundskeeping

[ELFUNGUSMAXIMUS]

At the end of the day, the sun goes down.

[Guest]

The problem today is there are no young desperate females. They are all on the dole enjoying the windphal ,soaking up all the government ejaculations . who needs a man

[Atma]

The problem today is there are no young desperate females. They are all on the dole enjoying the windphal ,soaking  up all the government ejaculations . who needs a man

[ELFUNGUSMAXIMUS]

I am its true.