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5:17 I get that "lovebombing" is a narcissist trait, but I think people need to be careful demonizing lovebombing. It's a pretty natural thing to do, in my opinion. It's normal to shower people that you REALLY REALLY LIKE with all the compliments and the other stuff, there's even a song about it...
For real.
I say we TAKE LOVEBOMBING BACK from the narcissists and reclaim that shit.
I HAD to make this point because I've always been offended by the fact that the lovebombing is only mentioned when it comes to narcissists and it's not fair that this is only attributed to them.
Hey, maybe it's a symptom of some other kind of mental problem too... whatever. But it's not just narcissism that lovebombing is associated with, IF there IS anything wrong with it in the first place.
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And I DO NOT think that all narcissists lovebomb, either.
Maybe they do if they feel like they've gotta make up for something...
But I do not think this is a trait associated as closely with narcissism as some other traits are.
In fact, if lovebombing is a problem, then it's associated with ANOTHER mental problem that narcissists can sometimes ALSO have.
Because I've known narcissists and they don't all lovebomb. Unless lovebomb can be something OTHER than nice words and all kinds of gushing over how great you are. If anything, I've experienced just the opposite from narcissists.
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Damn fucking straight.
I can honestly say out of like 3 or so narcissists I have PERSONALLY known, I have only ever been lovebombed by ONE of them, and he was definitely classic 100% lovebombing me. Lots of compliments about my intellect and other aspects of myself that HE THOUGHT were things that mattered to me/what I wanted to hear about.
See that's what I think the difference is between the 'lovebombing' narcissists do, and 'normal' lovebombing...
The narcissists tell you what they think you WANT to hear... I've had pissweak narcissists who are really bad at capturing/re-capturing victims be REALLY bad at telling me what they thought I've wanted to hear. So I definitely appreciate a narcissist who can do a better job.
Whereas NORMAL (natural) lovebombing is basically just one person spouting off everything they're obsessed with about the other person. Lol. It's got nothing to do with what THEY THINK the other person would WANT to hear. I can tell you this as a 100% natural lovebomber extraordinaire. For real. I say NONE of the things I say about people when I'm lovebombing them because I think they'd like it. I just can't contain myself and the feelings of admiration etc. that I feel for whoever it is at the time.
So there's a difference between what narcissists do and what normal people do when it comes to lovebombing...
And in fact, with the narcissist, their approach to this natural phenomenon is to FEIGN the ability to FEEL those things, just like they do for every other matter of the heart.
That's why some are monumentally bad at it, and others are simply a bit transparent with it.
Makes sense.
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Narcissists were created from shitty childhoods.
They never got the attention and true care they needed, and they had to try and game the system at a young age, they had to learn manipulation just for the PRAYER that it would work and get them what they needed...
The sad thing is that it probably never fucking did.
Like maybe it did with people other than their parents...
But I'm sure it basically never works with their parents, they never get what they need from their PARENTS...
And so that's why they go throughout life trying to play out that relationship with other people, but it always fails because nobody's your mom, nobody's your dad...
You can't treat romantic partners that way.
If it gets fucked up from childhood, it's freakin' screwed.
That's why people gotta be SO FUCKING CAREFUL when they have children to guard EVERYTHING they fucking say to those kids because kids remember EVERYTHING you ever say that is even mildly hurtful.
EVERYTHING YOU DO that is even mildly hurtful. EVERYTHING. Parenthood is the most serious, most important job on the planet and it's better not to do it at all than it is to do it wrong.
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Man, Sage is really blowing shit open and telling ALL the narcissists' secrets in this video/series...
He knows what he's talking about and he knows it well.
I haven't seen very many actual psychologists make a video this good about the topic.
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9:02 I do appreciate the narcissists who put in EFFORT though. Like when I was lovebombed by that one narcissist, he did a GREAT job. He put in the hours, man. He put in the effort to actually LEARN, and that put him in a class of his own. He was GOOD good at it. He actually TOOK the time, and took that time out of time that could have been spent doing something else or just jerking off. So I just feel like, if you're gonna be involved with a fucking narcissist, at least make it one who really did put in the TIME and EFFORT to truly learn you so that they could ACT like they really cared about the topic.
There's nothing worse than a douchebag narcissist who puts in no effort toward that end whatsoever.
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I think covert narcissists are far more likely to put in MORE effort, whereas grandiose narcissists are not as likely to put in that effort to truly know you because they have the "God Complex" aspect involved in their mental illness.
The covert expert lovebomber narcissist I experienced was not so much operating on the "God Complex" narrative... it was there, but it was very indirect and very suave.
That relationship didn't last long enough to get to the narcissistic abuse phase, which I am really grateful for because I can actually look back on that guy as a pleasant experience overall and hold it in a place of heart instead of just pure and total hurt.
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13:07 exactly... reactive abuse is not abuse. Here's a YouTube video on that topic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-9g-JzM0No
Essentially, the narcissist will push you and push you, in any number of approaches/methods, and then when you finally can't take it anymore, when they've driven you to the brink of insanity and you lose your composure...
They'll act like you're being crazy and abusive to them, when really, they antagonized that reaction out of you, sometimes for days on end, until you finally broke. It's kind of like interrogation/torture tactics. But way more covert.
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After all the shit I've experienced, this is exactly why I truly believe it's better to just stay the hell away from everyone. Don't get involved with anyone, ever. It's not worth it.
What shit have you expirence?
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28:30 so true and so well said...
"Being the child of a narcissist is one of the most painful things."
No one deserves a childhood like that...
Being neglected and unloved by a narcissist parent (because they were raised by a narcissist and never learned the right way to be) is a horrible thing and should never happen to any child.
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(03-26-2022, 03:09 PM)gay4putin Wrote: What shit have you expirence?
I thought by everything I've been saying in these recent posts that I'm literally talking about my own experiences and that's totally obvious??
We've got a "no effort" muhfucker here apparently?!
No scrubs, boyah. Getchoass outta here!
To long I didn't read
I have no time to read book full of comments
I'm way behind the curve for sure
So much here to read thru
Can't you give me the short and sweet version
This is the topic where it explains it? Well I will look thru this then
JEE sorry for upsetting you my Highness
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Your posts are kind of hilarious in context to what I was talking about in my posts...
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Sage looks so legit, I love his outfit!
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I just took the Jung personality test...
https://www.123test.com/jung-personality-test
It says I'm INTJ...
https://i.imgur.com/NSTUhdz.jpg
I'll have to go look into what that means.
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https://www.16personalities.com/intj-personality
I wonder if I've taken this test before.
It seems like I have.
I'm trying to search the site and find out but I'm not coming across much.
That website I just linked even looks familiar, I know I've taken the test and looked into this before.
I gotta keep looking.
Okay...
I searched the site for every acronym listed on this page: https://www.humanmetrics.com/personality
I can only assume that if I've taken the test, I've never posted my results here.
I'm gonna read these details and see if it sounds accurate...
https://www.humanmetrics.com/personality/intj
This is really interesting, I've always liked taking these psychological tests, they're fun.
I don't find that site to be the best source of what it all means though, so I'm gonna keep reading.
Quote:An Architect (INTJ) is a person with the Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Judging personality traits. These thoughtful tacticians love perfecting the details of life, applying creativity and rationality to everything they do. Their inner world is often a private, complex one.
https://www.verywellmind.com/intj-introv...ng-2795988
That seems like a more 'fun' site with better explanations, reading down the page, it does sound like me.
Quote:People who prefer INTJ make up 2.1% of the population. Among men, this type is a little more common with 3.3% of the population. Women, however, only make up 0.8% of the population for INTJs.
https://www.mbtionline.com/en-US/Article...ality-type
Quote:While INTJs may be relatively unaware of how others perceive them, their "other-worldliness" often earns them labels such as quirky, awkward, nerdy, or oblivious. Onlookers sense that INTJs seem to "live in their own world." Immersed in their own minds and interests, INTJs can be oblivious to social norms or other practical aspects of life. While incredibly "book smart," they may fall short when it comes to social or "street smarts."
https://personalityjunkie.com/the-intj
That site has the most comprehensive explanations I've seen, definitely the best.
It has a list of historical figures, celebrities, and even fictional characters with the same personality type/archetype at the bottom.
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